A Washing Room Drama
by Sheriff of Nottingham
Summary: Lupin and Snape bump into each other when they're doing the washing...


**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING so don't sue if you don't like it.**

**Author's Note: I had a dream like this and thought I'd share it.**

**A Washing Room Drama**

Severus Snape made his way down to the washing room. He had shrunk his basket of dirty cloths and put in his pocket. He had gone to the washing room every Friday since he started teaching at Hogwarts. The washing room was just a room you had to stay in, guarding your cloths, for two hours while they were being cleaned by enchanted washing machines.

"Hummm, dadum. Bah dah dumb," he hummed to himself. 'Grrrr. Stop humming, Sev' he scolded himself.

As he was rounding the corner he took the miniaturized basket and made it the right size with his wand. He wasn't there yet but he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

At the same time Remus Lupin was walking to the very same washing room. The fact that there was only one washing room helped with that fact. He wouldn't have thought of shrinking his basket of clothes because HE wasn't in a hurry. He had no class's on Friday afternoons so that left him free. Today he decided to catch up on some sleep instead of going straight to the washing room. It was now six o clock and he was much later that usual. Remus sleepily made his way around one of the routes to the washing machines. He didn't fully wake up until he crashed into something solid and fell over it.

When he looked around him, he found that he had crashed into Snape and tripped him as well as himself.

"Lupin you klutz."

"Sorry, Severus. I didn't see you."

"Well maybe you should watch where you are going then."

"Wait just a minute. You didn't see me either. Maybe YOU should watch where YOU'RE going."

"_I_ was in a hurry."

"I don't care, Severus. Not like there was any harm done."

Snape growled and glared at Remus.

"I suppose we should sort this out," Remus said. Snape looked at the two empty baskets. The clothes were strewn across the floor and mixed up.

"You think," Snape sneered.

Remus rolled his eyes and started picking up his own clothes. They spent about a minute sorting through the mess before Remus grew a huge smile and snorted. "These yours?"

Snape's mouth opened slightly before his jaw stiffened.

"Because they're certainly not mine," Remus said, holding up a red thong. "I didn't think you'd be the type to wear a thong."

"I'm NOT," Snape shouted defiantly. "It was a gift from a pervert who also happens to be very powerful. I throw it in the wash to make it look used."

"Really," Remus smirked. "And just who would give you such a gift. Hahaha... Lucious Malfoy? Hahaha." He stopped laughing when Snape blushed and looked away to hide his face. "No? You've went to bed with HIM!!!"

"NO."

"Yeah right. Why would you need to make this look worn then?"

"I just do. It's like he can see through my pants or something."

Remus choked.

"That's not what I mean you perv. I... He... He just KNOWS."

Remus shook his head and laughed again.

"It's true. I don't wear thongs!"

"Prove it, Severus. Prove it to me and I will believe you."

"Fine. If you direct your eyes down you will see that you are kneeling on my boxers."

Remus looked down and blushed. He picked up the black boxers and threw them over to Snape. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Right. By the way, you should really sew the hole in your own boxers."

Remus blushed again as he grabbed his green boxers.

"Fetching colour, Lupin."

"My red ones were all used," he said, knowing that Snape was referring to house colours.

"Saved your best for last I suppose."

"Yeah right. It was desperation."

"NORMAL people buy more."

"Then why do you do it?"

"Your so childish, Lupin."

"Ah, you love it."

"That's not true."

"Sure it is."

"What is the basis for your assessment?"

"Ehhh...."

"That's what I thought."

"Spoilt sport," Remus muttered.

"What was that?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Not really."

"Then why ask?"

Snape huffed and started to shove his now collected clothes into a washing machine. Remus did likewise.

"Guess we'll be here for a while together."

Snape huffed again and hopped up on a spare machine. He took papers out from his robes and started writing.

"What are you doing, Severus?"

"Correcting papers."

"Oh... Want to play exploding snap instead?"

"No!"

Half an hour later Snape closed his bottle of ink and put down his quill. He stood up to stretch and Remus looked up.

"Finished?"

"Yes."

"Now do you want to play?"

"No!" He hopped back on the machine and lay across three others, on his back. He put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.

Ten more minute's went by and Remus was getting restless. "How about now?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Ple-"

"FINE. I'll play. Just one game."

So they played...

King of Spades.

Jack of Hearts.

Ace of Hearts.

Two of Clubs.

Nine of Hearts.

Three of Hearts.

Four of Clubs.

Eight of Spades.

Ace of Clubs.

Three of Diamonds.

Six of Diamonds.

They went through most of the deck and...

Queen of Diamonds.

Queen of Spades.

"SNAP!!!" they both shouted. But Snape was faster so his hand got to the cards first while Remus's crushed Snape's hand. Sparks flew from under their hands.

"I believe I won," Snape smirked.

"It was a fluke!"

"Yeah right."

"Want to bet on that?"

"No. I tire of this game."

"Poker then."

"Gambler are you?"

Remus nodded.

"Poker it is then. I hope you brought your wallet."

"Yup. I hope you brought yours cause it'll be empty when I'm through with you."

"We'll see," Snape said. He got out his wallet, as did Remus.

Another hour later the two men could be found on the floor. They both wore only their pants and a t- shirt (Snape rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and opened up the top two buttons) and socks.

Remus was sweating furiously. He had lost nearly all his money to the other man and Snape was winning so he could afford to put all his money in the middle, ready for him to reclaim.

Snape had a smirk on his face as Remus picked up another card. Remus looked at it but kept his face neutral.

"Read em' and weep, Lupin. I win again."

"Rat's. I wish I didn't have the winning hand. That smirk suits you but I'm afraid I have to wipe it off. Royal flush."

Snape's jaw tightened. His smirk was gone and his face was neutral. "Lucky you. It seem the roles have reversed."

"It seems so. I'll leave you back out now before you go into debt."

"I don't think so. I'll, shall we say... pawn something. What do you want?"

"Hmmmm... your cloak. I'll see if I can make it billow like you can."

"That's IF you win, Lupin." ......

And he did win Snape's cloak... and his robes and inner robes and his shirt.

Poor Snape (literally poor) was left in his pants, shoes and socks.

He stood up. "Dobby," Snape called.

There was a pop and "Yes, Sirs. What can Dobby do for you?"

"Dobby. I want you to stay here and make sure nobody goes near my clothes. When they're done I want you to bring them to my rooms."

"Dobby is sorry, Master Snape, but Dobby is needed in the kitchen."

Snape bent down and whispered to Dobby, "If you do, there's some clothes in it for you."

"Dobby doesn't like Master Snape's clothes. They're too black," Dobby squeaked.

Remus snorted.

Snape glared at him and whispered again. "I mean some of my OTHER clothes."

"Do you mean Master Snape's working out clothes?"

"You DO work out, Severus. I knew it. Sprout owes me three galleons. Wait what kind of clothes do you wear working out if they're not black?"

"Never you-" Snape started.

"Master Snape wears blue shorts, Master Lupin," Dobby cut in.

"Dobby," Snape scowled.

"Is that all?" Remus asked, surprised.

"Glad you don't find it unusual, Lupin."

"No. I mean don't you wear anything else? I always figured that you'd totally cover up like you always do."

"You'd do well to never mention this to anyone," Snape snapped.

"Fine."

Remus was true to his word - he didn't speak of it to anyone. Instead he bribed Dobby...

**Two Day's Later...**

"Ron... Ron. Wake up!!!" Harry shouted.

"Huh? What's wrong Harry?" Ron said sleepily.

"Ron look at this."

"What the..." Seamus's voice said.

"Whoa" Dean breathed.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Draco. Wake up and look," Crabbe poked Malfoy.

"Yeah," Goyle said.

"Go away!" Malfoy's voice came from beneath the sheets.

"Draco. Get your ass outta bed and look at this," Zambini shouted.

"Fine what is-" He looked at what was shoved in his face. "Muh... Muh... Ah... Bu..."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Justin. Look at this," Thomas (A Hufflepuff) said.

"Daaaamn!" Justin whispered.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Hermione... get out of the bathroom!!!" Lavender shouted.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Partavi asked.

Neither got an answer. Lavender slowly opened the bathroom door and poked her head in.

Hermione was kneeling on the floor with a piece of paper in her hand.

"What's that, Hermione?"

"A picture," Hermione said plainly.

"Ohhh. He's cute. Who is it?" Lavender asked.

"Let's see," Partavi said. "Sexy."

"That's what I thought," Hermione moaned.

"So what's the problem Hermione?"

"What's the problem? What's the problem? The problem is that it's... it's SNAPE," Hermione wailed.

"Gross. I thought Snape was sexy," Partavi cried.

"Oh god. I thought he was cute. I'm going to go to hell!!!"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Millicent. You think he's hot? Did you not hear me just telling you that it was Snape?" Pansy screeched.

"Yeah but look at those shorts. And the legs. He clearly works out."

"I suppose. No, wait. This is Snape we're talking about!"

"And his chest... muscles."

Snape walked to breakfast wearing a new set of robes since he 'lost' his other set. He swept into the Great Hall in his usual mannor and sat down. It was then he noticed that everyone in the hall was staring at him.

'Bugger this' he thought and walked back out. Snape made it half way to the dungeons went something caught his eye. He bent down and picked it up. It was a picture...

Remus was sitting at his desk, congratulating himself on getting Dobby to spy on Snape working out and spreading the picture's everywhere, when...

"LUUUPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN."

He knew Snape had found out. "That's for telling everyone that I'm a werewolf!"

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